Hi my name is Brandy. I am from the divided states of corruption. I am beyond ashamed to be born on this stolen land and continuing to live here while I watch my country’s leaders enable another country to also steal land from another group of oppressed people and also funding their genocide. I am sick to my stomach as I watch the millions of Americans daily follow the herd mentality of just listening to the leaders and our skewed media articles that promote lies and propaganda to keep people with their blinders on. I refuse to be like that. I will never trust anything at face value. I will always question and investigate and get close to the source of the truth. I understand what is happening in our world. I never thought I would witness a holocaust in 2024 but here we are. And thanks to technology it’s online every single day. All day. I try to keep it together. I try to help the best I can. My heart aches for these innocent people. I feel so much guilt because I can see my home, my family, I have food and water at any given second. It’s not fair to mass murder people for no reason. How are people so blind. What happened to their hearts? Why did half of America lose their shit to get roe v wade overturned and take away women’s right to have autonomy over their own bodies, and to ban abortion and give more rights to a clump of cells rather than have concern for the living children in this country and our broken system. Where is all that oh we’re Christian and these cells are human and you can’t remove them because it’s murder, where are you nuts now when they are blowing up actual living breathing newborns, toddlers and children. Injuring them, leaving them orphaned, missing limbs, going without medical care, being forcibly starved, really what in the actual Fuck is wrong with people in this country and the world. The US has all the power to stop or have stopped this before it turned into genocide and war crimes. That’s all for now I am still trying to understand. I talk to these beautiful people daily that America and Israel are trying to kill off and they are the most kind and gentle people. They are people they are human and they have rights. They deserve to simply exist.
document our days
Horrors of our world
Honestly I thought writing about this would be therapeutic but I don’t think I am ready to be able to put into words everything I am feeling about the genocide that is being committed right now in Gaza. The fact that my country is part of the responsible parties is something I cannot wrap my head around. First let me say, any government groups committing crimes or acts of violence no matter where they are from I do not condone or agree with. I also do not see this as political, Israel’s genocide on Gaza is criminal and a human issue. What is happening right now is on my mind every single day. I feel so much guilt when I am home warm, with food, water, hugging my babies. Simple things. Why should I be so privileged? And yet across the ocean there are humble normal people just the same and because of where they were born they are treated as less than human. It’s so wrong. I remember in the 10 th grade we had to read the book “Night” by Elie Weisel, it left an impression on me so strong I will never forget the things I read about. I also remember after reading it I had some sense of peace knowing Hitler was dead and that couldn’t happen ever again, because it was so wrong and awful no one would allow that kind of history repeat itself. Yet here we are. It’s 2024 and the US and Israel are committing a modern day holocaust on these people. Babies and children. Unarmed civilians just trying to live their life. It has changed my perspective. It leaves me sad for these people because my country is turning their backs to these innocents and pretend like nothing is even happening. These are people. They love their babies, they love their family, their children love their parents more than anything just like us. Why should their existence be so difficult, so traumatic? It is just so heartbreaking. I included a piece of digital artwork I created here. I have been trying to think of some way to raise money to help these people in any way I can, because no one deserves this. What is happening to them is a crime. It is also wrong and unless you are a psychopath I cannot imagine you seeing it as anything different.
Going Back to School during Covid
This has been at the top of every parents to do list for a while now. Going back to school during a pandemic. Is it safe? How will they do it? Will they have to close again? Why would they open when cases are rising? I’m sure I could have listed over 100 questions surging through parents minds all over America. This is something I never made room for when I had my firstborn, I always knew school would be the most important decision. But I never imagined making that choice during a deadly pandemic. My son is a rising kindergartener who is also autistic, and receives some therapy and goals for therapy through the education system. Our or my whole world has started crumbling in on me. It’s a temporary stressor, and feeling of being defeated..but nonetheless valid. And it is taking over right now. It’s hard to let these feelings just be because I never thought I would have feelings like this in my entire life. I have at this point tried to cover every scenario! My son has a spot at a Magnet school, he’s registered for virtual academy, and I have homeschool prepped and ready to go. I have tried to get all the private therapists I can to make sure he has everything he needs if we decide to homeschool. I have consulted with his pediatrician, therapists, past teachers, family and friends about this decision and about what they plan to do…we all have one thing in common. We all aren’t really sure and are having the same struggle. This is all the result of very inadequate leadership at the presidential level. But we can’t change things at this point, just try to stay safe. Learn from mistakes made. Collectively we can get through this if we lean in on every resource we have. All those dormant resources you never thought you would use check them out! You never know what you might learn and it may give you much needed peace about the choice you make for your child. Most of all during this have patience, allow yourself a chance to feel disappointed and then figure out your next move. Trust me when I say this is hard, but take this time to find your friends and tribe of people who can help and who you can help during this time.
Stay safe everyone and sign up with your email, I have lots of content coming.. mom hacks, homeschool, autism and tips on how to navigate the world of therapy and services offered, outdoor activities and indoor rainy day activities!! Sending you xx,
Brandy
This is How My Day Went!!
As mothers and women I think it’s important to help build one another up. This requires building up our confidence. Which means we need to be relatable, and be honest in our struggles. A big pet peeve of mine is looking to other amazing women for support, or connection and seeing perfectly curated feeds of perfect photos, perfect kids, perfect house, and then a caption about the wonderful things going on in their lives. Let’s be honest if your not being real you are not relatable, so I want to share about one of my insane days as a mom and wife. The truth I guess..?.
My day started off decent, I didn’t meet my sleep goals so I struggled to get up and keep up with the 20 different demands my 5 year old had starting at 630 asking for his IPad. I made sure everyone was fed, well except me. I munched on some cookies, some ramen whatever I could fit in between tasks. Then Jacob had to leave to run errands. I was about to take my “morning bath” aka my relax time alone for 15 minutes. And I realize I have to do this while the kids are with me alone. So I put up the baby gates. And the kids were on their devices with a snack across the hall, don’t worry Karen I have cameras and can hear and see them. Everything was going ok for about a minute when my oldest burst through the door then my youngest. Both with rediculous demands even though they had everything they needed. So during my cold bath, yes did I tell you the hot water ran out for some reason, so they brought toys in the bathroom. My toddler brought me some funions he had in his mouth and tried to feed them to me. I gave them my water thinking I would get maybe five more minutes. But instead they bring it back to me and guilt me into drinking it, which I normally wouldn’t do. But I was desperate so I drank it and it had backwash and funion crumbs in it…gag!! So I gave up and decided I just needed to get out I was not getting a break today lol and my toddler comes back in and laid down because he had pooped. It really was an eventful day. The kids were non stop I couldn’t even lock them out of my bedroom. I am not sharing to be negative, put my kids down, or complain. I want other moms to know I’m right there with you in solidarity!! I see your struggles your rough patches. They are temporary and we will get through them. And I want you to know you don’t have to appear perfect to be an amazing mom and woman!! And always be kind ladies you never know what another persons struggles may be!! As a fellow hot mess express parent I want you to know I will be honest and as transparent as possible. I want to build community and friendships with fellow parents!!! Drop a comment below, share one of your crazy days!!, and please subscribe for my latest content!!
xoxo
Brandy
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